20440 days

Crossing a midway point feels important, triggering a count-down mindset (versus “count up”?) Truth is, by some accounts I passed my midway point a while ago.

And I’m still counting up.

On a road trip, you count down when you have 6 hours left, and all the junk food and snacks needed from your prior two stops. You’re done checking out the novelty of random items presenting themselves by the side of the road, or how the landscape shifted from urban to rural about whatever hours ago. The podcast list seems boring, having gone through the first two you downloaded (with 18 more to go), and some folks around you are wanting quiet; headphones are on, devices are engaged, and we dropped the device-time restriction about two Starbucks ago.

But I don’t know anything. I don’t know what comes next. I don’t know this road, or the turn ahead. I have no idea how long the journey will continue.

And that is why I’m still counting up. This is like my first roadtrip. When we would load up the Volvo and had no devices, no podcasts, no GPS, no online reservations for the motel, and at times no seatbelts. Just a printed map, whatever mom would make ahead of time, my dad’s stories, and our imagination.

I don’t know how many days are ahead. And that would only be relevant if I was headed to a destination. There is no midway point when your journey has no end.

(and perhaps no beginning)

Onward.