Conversation-surfing
I was “camping” with my partner and her family, avoiding the heat, sipping coffee. There were 4 or 5 clusters of Adirondack chairs, paired up, loosely organized around a fire pit best suited for cooler months far ahead.
There was a book in front of me, in my hands. And indeed I appeared to be reading it. But the book was actually a gimmick; I was listening in to a conversation that was taking place just behind me.
From what I could gather, the group had recently come back from a wedding, and all was not good. Some family drama and excessive drinking had led to ongoing gossip. I was lured in.
Just as I felt vested in their saga, I could see another conversation taking shape right in front of me. This couple, probably in their 60’s, had probably been together for 35+ years. And the way they just didn’t care about certain things was very new to me. They spoke over one another, and sometimes didn’t even wait for answers, appearing to know what the other wanted before they could articulate a reply. They mused about the lunch and dinner schedule and what would be on the menu, never caring enough but also not willing to let go.
Is this what I will be like? I wondered to myself.
A women nearby was trying to get her husband’s attention, pulling him away from his phone. I looked up for a moment and noticed that all of us had a book or a phone in hand, rotating the two and doing “sets” to make the time go by. The husband reluctantly put his phone down, only to be asked to look something up (his schedule). The back and forth wasn’t really a negotiation, it felt more like an inventory. Sometimes couple need to know how much time their partners are spending on each category, I mused. I thought of obvious categories, like: school, work, gym, personal care, carpool.
What about less obvious categories, maybe “reading”, or “daydreaming”, or even “eavesdropping”.
That’s what I was doing. I had spent the past hour moving my way through other people’s lives, conversation surfing much like strangers to navigate the world one couch at a time.
There is no reason to share this picture of my parents, other than to just see them this way. Smiling, happy, in love. I know they had tried to get pregnant for a while, so it’s a reminder to not take anything for granted. Conversation surfing seems like a much safer activity versus the cesspool of social media. Part therapy, part realization of how good we have it, and part entertainment.
Let me know your stories, and the stories of others as they drifted through your ears.
